American Terminal Public Internet Access Portal commercial, literally aired in 2003, during the Iraq War. USA Today: “These portals could soon become as common as vending machines!!”
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If a person tries to sell you something that will “make a ton of money easily” just ask yourself why that person doesn’t keep these money printing devices and why they don’t use it to make money.
Well, they were right about them being as common as payphones. I can’t remember the last payphone I saw.
That being said, these internet kiosks were a great help when I went to Spain in 2001. There was a kiosk at the train depot that I used to communicate with a friend that was living in Granada and was going to meet me in Barcelona.
Oh man I remember using one of these at a Carls Junior/Green burrito to check my neopets account.
What does the Iraq War have to do with this?
I used one at a truck stop and it fucking SUCKED. Net was so slow it ran out of time before I could check my email.
I can’t wait for someone to find one of these in the middle of the Mojave.
I used one of these.
You could also buy internet access on hotel room tvs, but it was complete shit. This terminal was actually fairly decent for the time.
I love her rabdom little shimmy of joy
Literally aired in 2003? As opposed to figuratively aired?
To be fair…. This is pretty much what Science Fiction (especially Cyberpunk) have predicted future to be like….. before everyone got surprised by the miniaturization of digital devices and wireless connection.
*”It will be one day as common as pay-phones”*
They got that part right.
I had to use one of these at JFK airport in 2005 to type out *an entire* term paper.
I thought I’d emailed it to my professor, and it hadn’t gone through. So he texted me on my Nokia brick or Razr or whatever I had, letting me know my email didn’t have an attachment, and that he needed the paper before 5pm. It was currently 2:30, and I was about to get on a 6 hour plane ride.
There wasn’t wifi, but there was one of these things. So I opened my laptop and re-typed my entire 15 page paper using the terminals grimy-ass keyboard, being charged a dollar a minute or probably more. But I got it sent out before the flight.
Wild times, man.
ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL-LICKERS. WE’RE GONNA FUCK YOUR MOTHERS WHILE YOU WATCH AND CRY LIKE LITTLE, WHINY BITCHES. ONCE WE GET TO HOLLYWOOD AND FIND THOSE MIRAMAX FUCKS WHO IS MAKIN’ THE MOVIE…WE’RE GONNA MAKE THEM EAT OUR SHIT, THEN SHIT OUT OUR SHIT, AND THEN EAT THEIR SHIT THAT’S MADE UP OF OUR SHIT THAT WE MADE ‘EM EAT. THEN ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKS ARE NEXT.
Love, Jay and Silent Bob
Damn. I remember seeing these when I first moved to NYC in 2003. I may have tried one once. Usually I used an internet cafe. Or I went to the phone card shop near my apt in bed stuy and used the internet there. They had two computers and it was always me and a West African Muslim quietly surfing together, me checking my Friendster acct.
I love the guy in the suit smiling and nodding as he counts his wad of, like, $38
USA Today was right, though; they are now as common as pay phones….
These were common enough, but Internet cafes came along a year or two later and these things disappeared as a result.
Pretty sure Dennis Duffy still operates a couple of these things in NY. Technology is cyclical, Liz.
“COMMON AS PAY PHONES”
Yes they certainly did.
It’s amazing what just 20 years can do.
Holy shit, the guy on the sign is literally the pointing soyjak
the dead eyed stare and thumbs up at the end is the perfect bow on this gift.
Literally huh?
Stupid wifi and smartphones f’ing up my business empire!
EXT. SHOPPING MALL, USA, 2003
GENIE: …that’s Steve’s second wish so he has one left, so what’s your second wish?
INVESTOR: I wish this internet terminal I just sunk all my money into becomes as popular as pay phones in the next decade.
GENIE: it will be done. What’s your last wish, Steve?
STEVE JOBS: I wish that people had the internet in their pocket in a few years, on a device we sell, and they could use it on WiFi networks as well as cellphone plans. Rendering the payphone obsolete.
INVESTOR: well I wish you get cancer, you dick.
Is this a Tim & Eric bit?
Can we get a subreddit for overly hyped under delivered products like this that never appeared?
That dude is going straight to the strip club with all them ones!
This company was out of business within a year. The owner [Daniel Touizer](https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdfl/pr/broward-county-resident-sentenced-14-years-prison-leading-2-million-dollar-securities) was sentenced to 68 months in federal prison in 2018 because he joined up with a scheme to defraud the elderly into investing in a “moving and storage brokerage” business.
I love the dude counting his stack of “One Dollar” bills. Lol.
USA today was correct, they are as common as pay phones.
> “Even buy phone cards!”
Which is itself a trip back in time. I had a cell phone since the mid 90s but still carried phone cards because if I was near a pay phone it was cheaper to do that than use mobile minutes.
Did it literally air in 2003? No joking? It was LITERALLY 2003?!
Well, they were right. They are about as common as pay phones.
This is like a Cinco brand commercial from the Tim and Eric show
I think it’s funny that these dweebs never predicted that people would be spending six or more hours a day on some sort of computer.
Cell phone killed the Terminal star
I remember these things. I was waiting for an international flight at LAX about 15-20 years ago, and thanks to my ever-cautious parents, we got to the airport 3 hours early and was super bored at the boarding area.
I found one of these machines but it charged by time and I had no money. These terminals were so crappy that it had a big red “reboot” button on it.
Being bored, I pressed the reboot button, just to see what it would do.
Bam! It reboots, and I see the usual BIOS loading, into Windows XP, and startup loading the program that restricts access until money is charged.
I saw how slowly everything was loading… and I really wanted to go online… so I rebooted it again using the red button, and this time, I Ctrl+Alt+Del to bring up the Task Manager before startup finished loading its restrictive program and ended task.
I couldn’t believe it, it worked and I was a “hacker”! I ended up sitting at the kiosk and using free internet for 2 hours…. I am still very proud of myself till this day.
The soy face lmao