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That’s sad. A thirty year old named Jake.
Bless your heart.
Fuck I just realized I’m 3 years away from 30…
You’re only as old as you feel Jake! At least your fiancé had a good sense of humor
You’re kind of a dick for turning a celebration into existential crisis.
This is amazing 👏
Tnx. I’m from 92 as well. Now i can’t sleep.
What flavor is the cake?
Yoo lol I just turned 30 lol this is hilaarious all I have to say is wtf is ur problem bro
A brilliant cake, well done!
When did youth last 30 years?
Just remember that the definition of “old” is your age plus 10 years.
I’m 34 and still feel like I’m 20. Midlife crisis hasn’t caught up to me yet. Maybe someday, but I’m banking on my midlife crisis involving learning a new language or a new instrument or getting a phallic sports car rather than quitting my job, leaving my family, and growing a skullet.
I love it…
Jake’s excitement turns into existential dread as the cake leads him to realization. The sounds of birthday cheer are tuned out, and his mind is silent. He feels anguish in his gut. A slice of cake is plopped on a plate in front of him. Reluctantly, Jake eats it slowly while realizing this was the best life has gotten and his body is nothing more than a decaying vehicle that once had held his life and dreams.
As a 1993 I hate this.
Fuck I hate being alive
As a Jake turning thirty in the next few days, CAN CONFIRM
I dunno about anyone else but my thirties have been *sooo* much better than my teens or twenties! Life begins at thirty, guys, don’t let them fool you!
I don’t get why people think turning 30 is so terrible
ah yes, instant depression, quite the lovely gift.
As someone who turns 30 in two weeks I feel personally attacked
My friend got his wife black balloons and roses with a card that said sorry for your loss (death of her 20’s).
As a Jake born in March of 1992. Coming across this randomly really hurt me. Thanks.
The courtship of Morticia and Gomez Addams spirit comes through.
Much happier in my 30s than before that. Suck it “youth”.
“Here lies Squidward’s hopes and dreams”
People born in ’92 are 30 this year.
Fuck I’m old.
My son turns 30 in April. I’m stealing this cake design.
Let Jake know, I shall mourn my youth this year as well. He has some solidarity.
As a 29yo…
My youth died in like ’06
Where have you all been? Because I’ve had arthritis and greys for over a decade now.
I was born in ‘92, and I’m pretty sure my youth died like 10 years ago.
Who actually thinks 30 is “old” tho? People be getting into stupid antics well into their 60s and 70s never mind this 30 shit
Bro I’d cry
Anyone who eats one of those black roses is going to poop green, like super green. Tell them this is expected and not to panic.
*laughs then cries in 1987*
When my mom’s best friend turned 50, she threw her a funeral.
We had a tombstone cake, everyone wore black, we had picture boards, and everyone sat on rowed chairs while my mom gave a eulogy. It was the death of her youth.
During the planning phase, her husband started getting REALLY worried she was not going to like it at all, but my mom just told him to trust her. My mom had been talking to her, and was hearing so many gripings about how she didn’t like so-and-so’s funeral, *I’d want it done this way*, that kind of thing. So she threw her friend the funeral she WANTED, so that even if they end up fucking up the real one, at least she got a good one too.
I’m 30 in March. Thanks for reminding me.