Sunday, June 2All That Matters

First day of a new job


First day of a new job



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37 Comments

  • MetaphoricallyIll

    dont forget the insane amount of anxiety of having to park package cars at ups in tight spaces and trying to not hit anything.

  • O_Beast

    The boss on the first day being so kind and generous and “go have a coffee if you like mate”.. then the next week he’s an ass hole to you too..

  • littleMAS

    “A labor of love has a passionate conception, a painful delivery, and a long, challenging upbringing that one day laments you at your funeral,” Plutaunt.

  • Oudeis16

    This isn’t a serious quibble, I am simply finding myself amused by something… coffees (it’s plural, so it’s not talking liquid volume but actual distinct cups of coffee) and bathroom breaks are generally things that happen in discrete, whole-number units. So you’d expect them to increment by 1 each time.

    … So we see that you start with 1 coffee. At one point immediately leap up with two simultaneously-consumed additional cups, followed shortly by, again, two consecutive or concurrent restroom breaks.

    The other possibility is that we’re talking partial cups of coffee and, more horrifying, partial bathroom visits? I’m not sure I want to know what that means, just tell me you washed your hands.

  • RedRocket05

    I remember my first day when they told me they didn’t expect me to be working beyond 5pm. 6 weeks later and I haven’t had a day where I’ve logged off before midnight.

  • therealclamsquadron

    I was looking so forward to this work week. I had my meals and made for each day. I was going to go workout at the gym where some thirsty ladies be waitin. But noooooooo I woke up with a fever fml… if I get covid again I’m going to be so fucking pissed. I never regained my smell since I got raw dawgged by the O.G. covid back in Feb 28th 2021. Sorry for the random rant.

  • bboycire

    Pffft “first day”. I felt like that for the first year, every day I kept thinking I’m gonna get fired and all my teammates must loath me. Then they told me good job, gave me a raise, and some even come to me for answers ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • AJEDIWITHNONAME

    This is so me right now. Not only did I start a new job but I moved over seas at the same time. I feel completely like a fish out of water right now. I know I am not alone in my feelings of starting new a job but the pressure I keep putting on myself is stupidly overwhelming. Having a good laugh helps thanks.

  • br0b1wan

    Started a new job recently. Same employer, different department and of course more pay. The hardest part was leaving my old coworkers behind, every one of whom I really really liked.

    The second hardest part was going from a place where I could do my job in my sleep to a place where I knew how to do almost nothing. It’s a jarring experience. There are two schools of thought at play here: one that thinks you should strive to get to such an equilibrium where you can effortlessly do your job well; there are those who think once you get to that point it’s pointless and you’re better off challenging yourself by moving on and acquiring more skills. I’m the latter.

  • spatialflow

    After about a month I enter into a sort of sine wave pattern fluctuating between, *”I guess I can tolerate this long-term”* on the peaks and, *”Fucking hell, I need to get the fuck out of here”* on the valleys.

  • broomhill1930

    Listen, I understand it’s your first day here, but if you have intentions to stay here long term we’re really going to need you to start labeling your Y-axis. We’ll let it slide this time, but next time I’m going to have to put my manager hat on and write you up.

    Best regards,
    Broomhill

  • Burnd1t

    It’s better if you stagger your coffee and bathroom breaks, your manager won’t wonder about your where…abouts…. if they see you occasionally. If you don’t catch them in that narrow window you left yourself it will seem like you took one really long break when they finally see you again.

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