“A labor of love has a passionate conception, a painful delivery, and a long, challenging upbringing that one day laments you at your funeral,” Plutaunt.
This isn’t a serious quibble, I am simply finding myself amused by something… coffees (it’s plural, so it’s not talking liquid volume but actual distinct cups of coffee) and bathroom breaks are generally things that happen in discrete, whole-number units. So you’d expect them to increment by 1 each time.
… So we see that you start with 1 coffee. At one point immediately leap up with two simultaneously-consumed additional cups, followed shortly by, again, two consecutive or concurrent restroom breaks.
The other possibility is that we’re talking partial cups of coffee and, more horrifying, partial bathroom visits? I’m not sure I want to know what that means, just tell me you washed your hands.
I remember my first day when they told me they didn’t expect me to be working beyond 5pm. 6 weeks later and I haven’t had a day where I’ve logged off before midnight.
I was looking so forward to this work week. I had my meals and made for each day. I was going to go workout at the gym where some thirsty ladies be waitin. But noooooooo I woke up with a fever fml… if I get covid again I’m going to be so fucking pissed. I never regained my smell since I got raw dawgged by the O.G. covid back in Feb 28th 2021. Sorry for the random rant.
Pffft “first day”. I felt like that for the first year, every day I kept thinking I’m gonna get fired and all my teammates must loath me. Then they told me good job, gave me a raise, and some even come to me for answers ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is so me right now. Not only did I start a new job but I moved over seas at the same time. I feel completely like a fish out of water right now. I know I am not alone in my feelings of starting new a job but the pressure I keep putting on myself is stupidly overwhelming. Having a good laugh helps thanks.
Started a new job recently. Same employer, different department and of course more pay. The hardest part was leaving my old coworkers behind, every one of whom I really really liked.
The second hardest part was going from a place where I could do my job in my sleep to a place where I knew how to do almost nothing. It’s a jarring experience. There are two schools of thought at play here: one that thinks you should strive to get to such an equilibrium where you can effortlessly do your job well; there are those who think once you get to that point it’s pointless and you’re better off challenging yourself by moving on and acquiring more skills. I’m the latter.
After about a month I enter into a sort of sine wave pattern fluctuating between, *”I guess I can tolerate this long-term”* on the peaks and, *”Fucking hell, I need to get the fuck out of here”* on the valleys.
Listen, I understand it’s your first day here, but if you have intentions to stay here long term we’re really going to need you to start labeling your Y-axis. We’ll let it slide this time, but next time I’m going to have to put my manager hat on and write you up.
It’s better if you stagger your coffee and bathroom breaks, your manager won’t wonder about your where…abouts…. if they see you occasionally. If you don’t catch them in that narrow window you left yourself it will seem like you took one really long break when they finally see you again.
Feeling this today
Clever and true.
dont forget the insane amount of anxiety of having to park package cars at ups in tight spaces and trying to not hit anything.
The drop off in “interest in going back tmrw” is way too late.
The boss on the first day being so kind and generous and “go have a coffee if you like mate”.. then the next week he’s an ass hole to you too..
“A labor of love has a passionate conception, a painful delivery, and a long, challenging upbringing that one day laments you at your funeral,” Plutaunt.
Lol Just in time for my first day at new job.
Well you can’t learn anything if you’re in the bathroom all the time!
Accurate
This is literally me right now. Ive been thumbing my ass in my office for 3 weeks with no guideance. 😭
I’m into my third week of this.
plot twist: it’s prostitution
As a colorblind person…… huh?
This isn’t a serious quibble, I am simply finding myself amused by something… coffees (it’s plural, so it’s not talking liquid volume but actual distinct cups of coffee) and bathroom breaks are generally things that happen in discrete, whole-number units. So you’d expect them to increment by 1 each time.
… So we see that you start with 1 coffee. At one point immediately leap up with two simultaneously-consumed additional cups, followed shortly by, again, two consecutive or concurrent restroom breaks.
The other possibility is that we’re talking partial cups of coffee and, more horrifying, partial bathroom visits? I’m not sure I want to know what that means, just tell me you washed your hands.
What about worrying what people think of me and start asking me to do.
It’s a pretty bad job if this is your first day!
I remember my first day when they told me they didn’t expect me to be working beyond 5pm. 6 weeks later and I haven’t had a day where I’ve logged off before midnight.
~~sponsored~~ inspired by early ’90s taco bell decor
Just remember, as long as you’re there you’re being paid
I think i’m in love with a co-worker
Add _”Hi, I’m <name>. -Oh hi, nice to meet you”_
Shit, what was that guy’s name again?
Just started a new job today. This is beyond accurate. Almost spooky.
What’s really funny is making this chart on company time.
I was looking so forward to this work week. I had my meals and made for each day. I was going to go workout at the gym where some thirsty ladies be waitin. But noooooooo I woke up with a fever fml… if I get covid again I’m going to be so fucking pissed. I never regained my smell since I got raw dawgged by the O.G. covid back in Feb 28th 2021. Sorry for the random rant.
Pffft “first day”. I felt like that for the first year, every day I kept thinking I’m gonna get fired and all my teammates must loath me. Then they told me good job, gave me a raise, and some even come to me for answers ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is so me right now. Not only did I start a new job but I moved over seas at the same time. I feel completely like a fish out of water right now. I know I am not alone in my feelings of starting new a job but the pressure I keep putting on myself is stupidly overwhelming. Having a good laugh helps thanks.
i mean, i guess it depends on the job, but yeah i had this when i was briefly employed at a call center.
I’ve worked a lot of different types of jobs and this is accurate for them all.
Started a new job recently. Same employer, different department and of course more pay. The hardest part was leaving my old coworkers behind, every one of whom I really really liked.
The second hardest part was going from a place where I could do my job in my sleep to a place where I knew how to do almost nothing. It’s a jarring experience. There are two schools of thought at play here: one that thinks you should strive to get to such an equilibrium where you can effortlessly do your job well; there are those who think once you get to that point it’s pointless and you’re better off challenging yourself by moving on and acquiring more skills. I’m the latter.
You have a caffeine addiction, my friend. A pretty substantial one.
After about a month I enter into a sort of sine wave pattern fluctuating between, *”I guess I can tolerate this long-term”* on the peaks and, *”Fucking hell, I need to get the fuck out of here”* on the valleys.
I start a new job next Monday and my tummy is already in somersaults!
Green line is more like, How much training I get vs the pink line “how much I’m expected to know”
Listen, I understand it’s your first day here, but if you have intentions to stay here long term we’re really going to need you to start labeling your Y-axis. We’ll let it slide this time, but next time I’m going to have to put my manager hat on and write you up.
Best regards,
Broomhill
It’s better if you stagger your coffee and bathroom breaks, your manager won’t wonder about your where…abouts…. if they see you occasionally. If you don’t catch them in that narrow window you left yourself it will seem like you took one really long break when they finally see you again.
At least 12 bathroom breaks over 8 hours, you should probably see a doctor.
I’m 6 months into a job and it’s not at all what they advertised. Feeling this really hard