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My favorite part of working retail when I was a kid was watching people like this contend with revolving doors.
As someone who works in retail, it astounds me how many people won’t take 10 seconds to read a fucking sign.
What time do you start breakfast service?
8 am
Can we book for 7:30?
Do you hear yourself?
I worked at a sandwich shop in high school and people would try to come in an hour after closing. This lights are off, all the chairs are on the tables, etc. and would ask for us to make them sandwiches. It is confusing and irritating.
Story time – I grew up in Quebec where most signs would have the same information in two languages, Usually French on the top half and English on the bottom.
When I was visiting Toronto, I asked a question and my friend said it was “right there on the sign”. I looked and said “What sign?”
Turns out there were two messages in English on the same sign and I habitually ignored half of all signs so didn’t see it.
Facts
Customers can’t be in a store after the store is closed! That doesn’t make any sense at all! So if you’re not a customer … [that must mean you’re a ROBBER.](https://youtu.be/RwtZrI6HuwY)
This reminded of the [crazy eaton center guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=056CH-xC35U).
I had a manager that did something like this one night. We closed early for a holiday and he signed off on end-of-day paperwork for me, then just started answering the phone that was ringing non-stop. Every single one got a *”Nah man, we’re closed.”* He was grinning the entire time, clearly enjoying the hell out of it lol
I recall telling a customer that even if I wanted to let him in to shop after closing that I couldn’t cash him out since we’d closed down the registers and he still didn’t understand why I wouldn’t unlock the door for him. It was a dollar store. Half an hour after closing. I was just grabbing my purse and coat and was about to head out the door at that point.
I used to go into work like 4 hours before the store opened to help with prep and do all the signage. This last task would take me to the front entrances to set up the signs in the doors. The amount of time that people would knock on the door to ask if we were open… at 7 am… astounding. I’m on a ladder and you can’t take the hint with the locked door at 7am? I’d just given them a ‘I dunno’ shrug and get back to what I was doing.
The real answer to panel 4 is if she wasn’t he be trying to force the door open to get in.
I work closing as a cashier and the store closes before all the night crew gets in. So we can’t just lock the doors so I just turn them off. You can still force them open, they just don’t automatically open. Still will have people try and enter the store in occasion.
Once i was closing after working a fast food shift. My manager was walking over to lock the door. Someone started to run up to try and make it in. As they reached the door, my manager looked them in the eye as he dramatically took his keys out and locked the door in them. Then went to the back to do manger close out stuff
Fun Fact: 54% of Americans have a sub-sixth-grade reading comprehension level. I’ve been trying to find a statistic regarding complete illiteracy, but it’s been eluding me whenever I look for it.
Next panel is demanding to speak to a a manager
I work in a bar and it’s incredible how people can’t manage to do shit. They come with incredible requests of cakes, 5 minutes before closing, bangs at the doors even 1 hour after we did leave. We get a shitton of calls in off time and people come to us wondering why we did not answer. They often pretend to enter just because they see us inside, often when we are CLEARLY cleaning.
“Blue t-shirt, lightly worn, pickup only, location is South Cityville, $20 firm”
—
“Hi will you deliver?”
“Hi whats location?”
“Hi will you trade for a potato and two paperclips?”
Honestly, all this comic is missing is the sign subtly getting more sarcastic each panel.
Used to work at Office Depot. I worked in freight, so that meant I had to be there hours before opening to unload all the freight and place it on the floor. On a normal week day we would open at 7am. It had to be at least twice a week that some fuckin random (usually an old person) would show up at 530 and yell at us to let them in.
First of all, that’s some incredible entitlement. Second, and I never got a good answer to this, what on this planet would require a trip to an office supply store at 530am for someone who is probably 70 years old?? My dude, the sun isn’t even up yet. What are you doing??
I sent an email last week to an employee. She called me in her office to explain the email.
Her : What is this email?
Me : Did you read it?
Her : No.
Me : So read it.
Her : Just tell me.
Me : What?
Her : Just tell me what it says
Me : Huh?
Her : Nevermind.
Me : Ok.
I used to run a “retail repair service / retail store type company”, with hours M-F 9am-6pm, some years we’d have 9am-1pm Saturday hours.
So I’m in the back room catching up on repairs, and have a security monitor on the front of the store. You would not believe the number of people who would come to the door of a darkened store, with the open sign off on a Sunday at 8:30pm, pull on the door, seem shocked that it was locked, then knock and wait, then knock again, thinking someone surely was going to come let them in!
I will never forget when I was working in a gas station. I was counting down the till when this guy drove up to the pump. He picks up the hose. Looks up at the (dark) lights. Drives up to the door. Peers into the (dark) store. Yanks the doors a few times to see if they’re going to open. Sees me sitting there in the dark, drawer open, till in my hands, walking back and yells.
“Y’all open?”
I worked at a chain bookstore/café that was closing. For several weeks we had large “closing, liquidation sale!” signs. Had people come up to me and ask if we were closing. The best was the woman who asked me if we were *a new store that just opened.*
Then I was one of the people that stayed later after our close to help pack up books and ship them out. We’d get people at our doors, knocking, tapping their watches as if to say “hello, it’s opening hours, let us in!!” We’d point towards the sign, they’d see it, get frustrated, then leave. You can’t miss the signs, they’re huge. At one point, someone called into the store while outside to chew out our manager for not letting them in.
“Don’t you want my money?”
“Sure. Slip it under the door, I’ll take it.”
EDIT: this was my actual response 35 years ago when I was 17, working at a record store.
“Don’t make me tap the sign”
The best place for this was when I worked at an art supply store. Almost every day there would be some senior citizen who had been up since 4:30am waiting to buy their phthalo blue watercolour paint and had shown up 15 minutes before opening time because they has fuck all else to do. We would stand around at the counter reading newspapers and drinking coffee while some old dude would be absolutely losing his complete mind outside, ranting, raving, swearing, pounding the door, keying cars, summoning demons. Turns out old people really love art supplies, and have no fucking manners, and it’s hilarious.
Reminds me of a sign I saw in a store recently
“We are temporarily closed
Come back in 15 minutes
If the 15 minutes is over and no one is back yet, then just read this sign again.”
I worked retail management as my only source of income for about 10 years. Fortunately(?) I only work retail management part time now as a second job.
I still regularly have nightmares where I’m trying to close a store but I forgot to lock the door and customers keep coming in and when I finally get away the register to close the door people are outside banging on the door.
>Do you have breakfast?
It’ll be ready at 5
>Oh, it’s 4:30, does that mean I can have some now?
No.. I’m sorry.. but everything will be ready and fresh at 5
>Why can’t I have it now?
It’s 4:30.. it’s not ready til 5..
>So shouldn’t some be ready right now?
No, because it’s prepared to be fresh at 5.
*a conversation I have almost daily*
I worked at Pizza Hut way back in the day, and we would begin prep abt about 9am and open at 11am. Because we had to let employees in who were running late or started their own prep an hour after BOH, we would only turn the latch to lock the doors (not the rods that went into the frame).
One day a woman pull on the doors (which were locked), looked inside and saw that we were in there, and then YANKED the doors back and forth until she bent the latch and forced the doors open. After that, she stood next to the hosts’ station, yelling that she needed to be seated.
When we told her we were closed, she asked why we were there and why the door could be opened. I’m sitting there like, “lady, you just broke into a Pizza Hut because you can’t read or think.”
I was doing some work at an Old Country Buffet years ago before they closed. Was like 930am or so. These fairly large people started lining up and started this exact thing. That door opened at 1030am and I swear by 1031am they had an entire table full of food. Like I mean they nearly emptied the buffet and put it on their table. Was just 2 of them also.
Lol this sadly reminds me of a day I was completely off at work and let my mind wander to the point of thinking 20:00 meant 10:00pm (our closing time). I locked the doors and started closing up the store, then there were like 10 people outside all wondering what the fuck was going on, and I was yelling at them through the window, “WE’RE CLOSED!”
Took one of my coworkers to come up and ask, “Uh… Dude it’s 8:00pm.”
The embarrassment was palpable.
I’ll never forget my last day working as a sales lead in retail, I closed the register directly at closing time even though people were in the store, I warned them 20, 10, and 5 min before I did it and still had 2 ladies come up asking to check out. Neither understood that the register was closed for the day and they needed to leave. I had one of the sales team members closing with me walk them to the door as they said that they will get me fired, as I locked the door behind them, still complaining, I said “I already quit, good fucking luck.” The teenager that closed with me laughed her ass off. Loved every second of it.
I still remember when I worked at Subway as a teen. One evening, it was particularly dead and we go the okay from our manager to break down and close up shop about 30 min early. By “we”, I mean me and the other teenager running the store at that time. I was about 15 at the time and they were 16-17. A few minutes before our posted close time, some guy showed up and started yanking at the door. We mimed through the door that we were closed and *he lost his ever-loving mind*. Screaming, cursing, putting his whole body weight into yanking on that door. I ended up calling my very large, very imposing Dad, my manager, and the police (in that order, lol). Manager said the guy could go piss up a rope the moment he started screaming at us.
Why was he so upset? He had a coupon and it expired that day. The manager was mystified. He would have happily let the guy use it the next day. Also, there were like 3 other locations within 5-10 mom drive that were open an additional hour or two.
I had to “*inform”* a customer this Christmas that we’re not robots that just power down for the holidays, and that we have our own families to spend time with over Christmas just like them.
As they complained about us being closed on Boxing Day, as I served him a bottle of vodka at 2 minutes before closing on Christmas Eve.
Some people…
I’ve had customers walk up to our doors (while all the lights are off inside), look confused when they dont automatically open, check our hours, walk up to the doors again, try to pull the door open, then knock on the window and ask me if we are closed.
Also had some ladies ask if they could come in an hour after closing time when we were locking up and leaving. They had driven a long way and didn’t know we would be closed. 🤷🏼♀️
College retail job. We have the gate down and are vacuuming/cleaning.
“Are you closed?”
“Yes.”
“Does that mean I can’t come in?”
…. “Yes.”
I remember working fast food and inevitably there would be people showing up before opening wanting us to make them food. Plenty of folks sitting at the drive thru honking because nobody was answering the speaker (because we didn’t have it on… Because we were closed).
“I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re not quite open yet”
“OMG what time do you open?”
“7”
“Well it’s 6:45!”
…correct…?
I worked on the front end help desk for my college’s computer commons, basically helping with whatever user issues that people might have (RE: User Errors). During winter break we do a bunch of cleaning, upgrading and other changes that would otherwise be impossible to do during the school year due to how busy we usually are.
There was one instance were all of the printers were offline for servicing/cleaning and someone came in with an “urgent” need to print something off. We posted signs at the top of the ramps leading to the floor and I was my job to catch everyone who didn’t read the signs (nearly everyone). I kept trying to inform him that we were closed and that he would need to visit another computer lab on campus, but it just wasn’t sinking in that it would be impossible to print something off for at least two hours. It got to the point where he threatened to jump the counter and get physical with me, at which point I dared him to do so, telling him that the campus PD were in the building and he’d probably get arrested / expelled for assaulting a university employee. He started grumbling and left, clearly aggravated but unable to take out his pent up anger at anyone.
Back in college, I was the assistant manager for a Blockbuster Video. The amount of times I’d have to call the cops to come.lver because we had closed, locked up, turned out the lights, and we’re just counting the drawer, cleaning, etc, and someone would *lose their fucking mind* about not being allowed in.
11pm on a Thursday night, and there’s a guy throwing his body into the door trying to break it down, swearing and spitting fury. Strange priorities.
“When do you open back up?”
“7:00 AM.”
“But the sign says you reopen at 6.”
“Ah, so you *can* read.”
I used to work over night at a gas station along a major road in south florida. Between midnight at 5am we locked all the doors and did all service through a little spinny window.
In a tangent from my main anecdote, the security in this location was a instant camera hidden inside a 70s wood panel speaker above the door pointed at the register. When you’re robbed at gun point I was told to pull the 7$ from the left most cash slot which was a mouse trap with 7 dollar pinned in it. Removing the 7 dollars completed a mickey rigged circuit that took a single photo of the back of the robbers head. When explained this and asked to confirm I understood I responded to my manager, “Check, never touch the 7 dollars”… “No, only touch it if you’re being robbed!”… “Check, never touch the 7 dollars.”… “NO! Only if robb…” “Ma’am, I’m not getting shot in the face over 7 dollars.”
…
Anyways, this was back in the early 2000s, and I would bring my Dreamcast into work to play video games at night. Sometimes my friends would show up and we’d play some Marvel v Capcom or something. The place was generally dead mid-week in the early hours. And I could always pause the game and service anyone at the window if needed.
This one night a guy comes up to the door and starts raddling the door.
Customer: “Let me in!”
Me: “The sign says the doors locked, we do our service through the window.” I motion towards the security window.
Customer: “Come on, I just need something real quick. Let me in!”
Me: “I can get you anything you need, just let me know and I’ll grab it.”
Customer: “Come on! You have him in there!” He motions at my buddy holding the Dreamcast controller in his hand.
My buddy smirks at me silently saying “he’s got you there, so whatchu going to do?”
I turn back to the guy at the door, then look at my friend, rapidly back and forth. As a surprised look rises over my face.
Me: “Wait… you can see him?”
Customer: “Wat?”
Me: “You can see my imaginary friend!!!!???”
I proceed to jump over the counter, rather than walk around, and bolt towards the front door. The while belting out, “Well in that case, come right in!” Dude man just starts backing up in a panic and trips over the parking block and on his ass.
Customer: “Nah dude, nah, I’m cool, we’re cool, leave me alone dude!”
I assure anyone who may think that they’d be better than that if they were working in retail: it changes you. Profoundly. After just a few months you won’t be able to regain your old self. You start to grow bitter fast and enjoy when confused customers knock on locked doors
I worked at a pet store in high school.
Every single morning before we opened, while the lights are off and it’s dark in the store, while the “closed” sign was up, someone would come POUNDING on the front door trying to get in early.
We had a huge pitbull guard dog who patrolled the store at night and slept or hung out with us in the back all day while we were open.
When people would pound on the doors, the owners would say “sic em” to the pit bull, and it would run to the front and slam into the front door, barking and snarling, pretty intimidating and a bit scary, so the person would eventually go sit in their car till we opened.
Eventually, one of the parrots (a store mascot) learned this.
I’d be over feeding the birds or something before the store opened, and when someone started pounding on the door, the parrot would say “sic em” and the dog would come running out from the back, barking and snarling and the person would go away.
It was really fascinating to me.