Saturday, April 20All That Matters

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by mathturd


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11 Comments

  • GoAheadMakeMySplay

    My (rather anxious) 75 lb dog once went full Cleveland Steamer all over the floor of the lobby of the groomers when I took him in for a nail trim. I was super embarrassed and apologetic, and the gal just nonchalantly handed me a bag saying, “Nervous pooper?”

    Reply
  • The-Muncible

    Oh boy story time.
    When I was 10 my mum had to go to some sort of office (I think to get her citizenship) and I was made to go along.

    I was left unnatended in the reception for what seemed like an eternity for me (maybe an hour) and I really had to go to the toilet and take a dump. Now I had always been a shy kid, so I refused to ask the receptionist where the toilet was. I couldn’t sit still, so I ended up pacing and walking around the building looking for a toilet. I couldn’t find one. I really had to take a dump. I kept pacing. And pacing. And more pacing. And eventually nature happened and I felt a little nugget escape my butt.

    But I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell the receptionist that I, a 10 year old boy, had shit himself in an office building. So I kept pacing. Still needing to take a dump. Eventually I noticed that I couldn’t feel the nugget (or any similar residue) in my pants anymore. So I paced more. And I found it. In the middle of a hallway. My little nugget.

    I can still picture it vividly 15 years later. The beige walls, the dark blue-green carpet. The little nugget of shit sitting right in the center. This is one of my greatest shames

    Of course I’ve never told anyone, bar you, the internet. Because after all this time I need to spill it out. To free it. Like my little nugget.

    Reply

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