Wife’s employer received this resume for a position. He got an interview because the manager couldn’t stop laughing (edited for privacy)
View Reddit by CompasslessPigeon – View Source
View Reddit by CompasslessPigeon – View Source
Wife’s employer received this resume for a position. He got an interview because the manager couldn’t stop laughing (edited for privacy)
View Reddit by CompasslessPigeon – View Source
Brb, need to change my resume real quick. Lmao
It’s like you HAVE to hire him…but then when he’s a fuck up…it’s like….damn. you should have known better
may be I need this type of employee lol
There are jobs he’s perfect for. Give him credit: he communicates clearly and doesn’t bullshit.
He basically removed all the bs you see on resumes and gave a pretty honest answer. LOL
Gotta love “then slap a label on that hoe”. I’d hire him for comic relief.
We hired someone who’s résumé was similar. Very poorly done. Not sure how they got to the interview stage but they were great. Have been working with us for almost 3 years now with no problems or complaints
I’m feeling tuxedo tee for the interview.
Sounds like he’s a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
You can’t knock them for being concise and direct at least, If a little blunt lol. I’d rather read this than a resume someone padded with fluff and no substance.
‘They saw how serious I was with the job’ 😂
One day, at the old place I used to work at, my boss comes up and shows me a resume. Under qualifications, it said “I’m a pretty cool guy”.
Both laughed and felt that.
No fluff. No embellishment. Right to the point. Refreshing!
Honestly, his roofing description is accurate
This is the same type of person that you will get no bullshit from during the interview. Guy’s a straight shooter. I hope he gets the job and does well for himself. Maybe even finds an opportunity for promotion.
From the other side of the coin I applied for a job once and when I was a young kid I had very limited experience. My only jobs were as a dock hand at a yacht club and a squire at Medieval Times. Yea that’s right; I picked up “dead” knights off the battle field and dragged their lazy asses a quarter mile to the back staging area and most the time these 190lbs to 220lbs dudes would put all their weight on me when I was 16 and about 150lbs soaking wet.
I went on an interview for an Appraisal Assistant position and the manager had this cruel and condescending attitude the whole time. I didn’t understand since I was young and dumb and figured I had an actual shot for this job. When he asked, “So you were a squire at Medieval times? How do you think that experience will help you in this position?” With a shit eating grin. I realized I was now only there for their amusement and this took me 45 minutes to drive to this office. I can’t remember what I said but it was a long and hard drive home.
These guys are a toss up. Either dedicated, no nonsense no bullshit kind of employee that will somehow stick around for decades and come in even in ice storms or … A rube goldberg rolling ball of fuck ups.
This resume is actually kind of brilliant, because it gets him noticed by potential employers much better than a straightforward one would have. When I was on the prowl for a new job, I thought about using a [crayon font](https://www.1001freefonts.com/chalk-crayon-fonts.php) on my resume (with the same professional content) just to get my foot in the door.
If you hire this person, +5 to morale.
I actually hired someone with a similar resume several years ago. It was a contract job so I knew the risk was minimal. Turned out to be the hardest working person here. I mean fuck he does more than me and I’m his boss.
We ended up hiring him full time and he’s still here to this day and has gotten 2 promotions. When we interviewed him, just like his resume, he was just very up front and to the point. He doesn’t know it yet, but in a few months I’m promoting him again and he will have some people working under him now.
When I’m hiring someone I look at their resume and evaluate but in my experience, I prefer to meet someone and size them up. I knew he could handle it. He’s making double what he was back then now because of his hard work.
EDIT: lots of people asking if he’s ok with being promoted…. he applied for the position against several other candidates and he won. I just can’t tell him yet because of internal stuff. But he knows the one who wanted the job and he got it
Me – “Warehouse associate – examined / qualified grade 8 bolts for possible shipment. If quality deemed high enough, bolts were appropriately packed. Also in charge of warehouse distribution – would offload / offset said bolts to associates for additional processing / shipping.”
him – “put bolts in bag, slapped label on, took ’em to someone else.”
I really wish we could write resumes like this instead of filling the space with nonsensical professional bullshit. Just let me tell you “I do X. I’m good at X. Y says I’m good at X. Here’s Y’s phone number to confirm that. I’ve been doing X since Xtime. Hit me up if you want me to do X for you.”
I think we are missing a good one on dishwasher though.
What OP didn’t say, candidate was applying for head of the transplant hepatology department at Cedars Sinai hospital.
What’s the job? He’s honest and straight to the point. As long as it isn’t like cardiac surgeon I think it’s worth talking to him.
Possibly the most honest and non-bullshit resume of all time. I wish I could be this honest. Fucking corporate jobs suck
Sales Operations Associate
I correct sellers dumbass mistakes. Talk to other departments. Come up with ideas that are then ignored so the issues are never solved.
IT
Fixes everyone’s mistakes
This guy is either the most solid employee ever, or he’s the guy who no-shows on Monday then his cousin calls you on Tuesday to say he’s in jail (again).
Sounds like he shows up for work, does his job and goes home. That’s a good thing in an employee. Reliable. Try him out. Plain speaking and not well book educated but is probably perfect for a warehouse job.
I worked at a restaurant that would give out crayons if you didn’t bring a pen with you to fill out the application. Most people left and came back. This one dude color coded his application. No only filled it out, but the top part in blue, education in green. It was great. One of the best bussers we had
When hiring for a job: personality > experience. If you fit well into a team and have a good attitude, then you are more likely to be hired. Experience can be taught after all.