The wife asked my to bring home some turkey and mashed potatoes
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Someone’s sleeping on the couch but will also be too drunk to care.
Sipping on some Rare Breed tonight myself. Bless up
Happy wife, happy life! Good job OP!
It’s okay you can stay in my beach house tonight
Thar vodka, like most, is made from grain.
New Amsterdam isn’t made with potatoes
Happy Liquid Thanksgiving
This is the most clever thing seen on Reddit tonight. Bravo.
Hilarious
Take a look through r/StopDrinking, might save your life.
Should’ve been Luksusowa vodka to actually land the joke.
Marry that wom… Oh, wait.
You forgot the grapes! She’ll be hella mad
sleep till you’re thirsty. drink till you’re sleepy.
That’s turkey and dinner rolls…. close enough.
r/dadjokes
edit: if you’re not already a dad, your wife is pregnant. better get those new balance sneakers and tube socks out.
Ya did good Joe, ya did good .
Ed It : upon further review : ya done goofed Joe
Good choices. You wife is wise.
Have a great holiday weekend everybody.
My wife: If you’re gonna be funny, bring back the good stuff.
Now go get potatoes and turkey.
Two things…
1: Those are smashed potatoes. lol 🤣
2: The turkey was atomized and then distilled into a liquid. lol
And this is what they meant by “drink your dinner.” lol 😂
The liquid diet I see!
I don’t 👀 the problem you did exactly what she told you to do.
Well played sir.
Shouldve bought 101 instead
Nailed it
Not wrong. (But apparently wrong from the comments) But I see where your heart was.
I always have at least one glass of Wild Turkey on Thanksgiving
You forgot the potatoes (New Amsterdam is not a potato based vodka).