The Australian outer suburb of Ellenbrook is an interesting place

2 Comments

• Yeah, can confirm it’s a shithole.

  January 21, 2023 at 7:47 am

  Reply

• Developers: “Ah fuck, this is the only affordable land in Perth and it’s near absolutely fuck all. Hey government, can you build some infrastructure out here so we can sell some of this shit and make some money?”

  Government: “What? No. Fuck Off!”

  Developers: “Awwww… Please?”

  Government: “No. Now. Fuck. Off.”

  Developers: “Hey, you blokes, come buy this cheap land!”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Why? There’s fuck all out there?”

  Developers: “Not yet, but there will be!”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Ahhh, are you sure?”

  Developers: “The Government has said they’re building a fuckton of infrastructure”

  Government: “The Fuck we did!”

  Developers: “Look, just buy it. The government will build schools, public transport links, everything you need.”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Really?”

  Government: “What??? No! We never said that! Are you cunts deaf or something?”

  Developers: “We promise they’ll sort something out. Just sign here my bogan friend…”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Well, okay. If you say the government are actually going to build some infrastructure all the way out here then I guess it sounds okay…”

  Government: “Hang on! The fuck are you doing? We never said we’d do shit…”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Okay. There. Signed. Now… Where’s all this infrastructure then?”

  Developers: “What infrastructure? There’s nothing fucking out here…”

  Aspirational Bogans: “We know! You promised us amenities and shit to move out here…”

  Developers: “LOL Fuck Off, that’s the government’s problem.”

  Aspirational Bogans: “What???”

  Government: “What???”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Where’s that fucking infrastructure you promised?”

  Government: “We NEVER promised anyone any fucking infrastructure out there. Those Developers just said what they needed to to fleece you of your cash, you dumb cunts.”

  Aspirational Bogans: “We’ll we’re here now, we need our schools and transport links and shit”

  Government: “Maybe you dumb cunts should have thought about that before handing your money to those blokes and moving to the outer part of bumfuck nowhere!”

  Aspirational Bogans: “Fuck You! BUILD OUR SHIT, NOW!”

  Government: “Fucks Sake…”

  Developers: “LOL”

  January 21, 2023 at 8:36 am

  Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.